


falling in love's a struggle

by divingred



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Trolls on Earth
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-02
Updated: 2018-05-19
Packaged: 2019-04-17 15:00:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14191521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/divingred/pseuds/divingred
Summary: “What. The. Fuck,” You manage to spit out, “Kanaya, did Terezi just bring a human?”Who the fuck is this guy anyway!? You stare daggers at the guy. He’s tall… pale, with light hair, wearing an obnoxiously bright red jacket and black skinny jeans. He’s even wearing sunglasses at night, what a complete fucking douchebag. The complete opposite of you.--or alternatively titled; falling in love with your ex-girlfriend's new awful boyfriend





	1. ==> Be a jealous spiteful idiot

**Author's Note:**

> this is gonna be a pretty self indulgent rambling fic of mostly talking >:]

**== > Be a jealous spiteful idiot.**

The music blares from the speakers, an old song that you like. The lights are dimmed, and you can’t make out much from all the trolls dancing on every available space. This apartment is too small for this party, but you’re all college students with shitty cheap living quarters so no one protests. It’s hot and the mood is electric, everyone high or drunk without a care in the world.

You, however, are sitting on the couch, not dancing like a complete tool. Terezi bothered you into coming to this stupid party and she’s not even here. You feel a tap on your shoulder and turn to see Kanaya looking at you with worry in her eyes. “Karkat,” She practically yells over the sounds of the party, “You’re being a buzzkill.”

You roll your eyes. If Kanaya is saying it, then you really must be. But if you want to sulk, you can sulk! “I’m just here because Terezi asked me,” You say back. Your voice is naturally… intense. So talking in a loud room is not much of a problem for you, “I don’t know why the fuck though, we have a midterm tomorrow.”

Kanaya sits next to you, a drink in hand. She’s been your good friend for a long time. While she might be batshit insane sometimes, she’s generally the most bearable of your friends.

“So eager to please her, aren’t you?” Kanaya says, scanning your face for answers, “What is she going to think when she comes in and sees you hopeless without her?”

“Ok, please, first off Kanaya, she’s fucking blind so she WON’T see me,” You snort, “Second, I’m not going to get drunk and fuck up watching over a blind girl at a college party. She probably wanted me to help her home tonight.”

“You and I both know she’s not Really Blind and Helpless.” She says, voice full of exasperation as she emphasizes her words. You’re about to retort when you hear the door kick open and a round of cheers. 

Terezi swaggers in the doorway, hands in the air as she waves her cane above her head. She’s always been the life of the party, and many trolls come up to greet her. She smiles, showing all of her sharp straight teeth, as she steps inside. Behind her, a tall human follows. The crowd falters for a second. It’s not like humans weren’t allowed at troll parties, but they certainly were rare. 

Terezi slaps his arm playfully, and hooks her cane around him, pulling him close. She presses a kiss against the human’s forehead, openly showing her affection. The other trolls seem satisfied with this, this human is Terezi approved. The party resumes it’s upbeat pace, but you feel frozen in your seat.

“What. The. Fuck,” You manage to spit out, “Kanaya, did Terezi just bring a human?” 

“It certainly seems so,” She says, impressed, “Good news Karkat, you’re not her babysitter now that she has a proper date.”

A proper date? Who the fuck is this guy anyway!? You stare daggers at the guy. He’s tall… pale, with light hair, wearing an obnoxiously bright red jacket and black skinny jeans. He’s even wearing sunglasses at night, what a complete fucking douchebag. The complete opposite of you.

“He’s handsome,” Kanaya whispers in your ear, “For a human.”

You whip your head towards her, “What? No! Since when are you into guys!?”

“I said handsome,” she says flatly, “Not, ‘I’m sexually aroused by him’. He looks familiar… like a human girl in my psychology class. They’re very pasty and dull but when you get past that-”

“Look,” You interrupt, “He’s clearly a pretentious asshole, why is Terezi bringing him here?”

“It looks like she has a new matesprit, I suppose she wouldn’t be past hitting on humans. She certainly is full of surprises.” She muses.

“Terezi is deranged, walking in here with a human. Like this interspecies relationship is not the unnatural shitstorm waiting to unfold!” You hiss. It’s not like humans and trolls never dated, but there were just too many cultural differences. When trolls arrived on Earth so many years ago, the two still stayed pretty separate. “She’s just doing this to spite me-”

“I thought you were over her,” Kanaya says sharply, her voice serious, “You broke up on mutual terms.”

You watch Terezi and her boytoy dance in the center of the room now. He holds her waist, smirking like he’s too cool to smile for real. She’s smiling as the two sway back and forth, a genuine smile, like the smiles that used to be for you. Terezi seems to have forgotten she invited you to this party, she’s so preoccupied with him. You take Kanaya’s drink from her, and down it in one shot. 

“Fuck yeah I am,” You lie, “In fact, I have someone I’m gonna ask out tomorrow.”

 

\---

 

“Kaaaaarrrrkat!” 

You feel an impact on your stomach and get the wind knocked out of you, “Oof!”

Terezi flicks her wrist, and pulls her cane and you get dragged towards her. For someone shorter than you, she really can jerk you around. “I missed you last night!” She says, her voice sharp, shrill, and gravelly as usual.

You look down at her, her expression pulled into a wide, crazed smile. It’s too early for this bullshit.

“Yeah right,” You scoff, “You were so into your new plaything you wouldn’t have even noticed if I was there or not.”

“Is that a hint of jealousy I smell?” She frowns, “I’m blind you doof, I couldn’t see you. I was waiting for you to come up to me like the cute little baby woofbeast you usually are!”

You prickle at that, the idea of Terezi thinking you’re a desperate fool is humiliating. “Yeah, well, I left early. I’m actually serious about my education unlike the lot of you.”

She pouts, “Karkat, I wanted you to meet my new boyfriend!”

“Boyfriend?” You freeze, “Really? Using that stupid human vernacular? He’s your matesprit right?”

“Humans don’t do quadrants,” She says wistfully, “I like to think of it as... participating in some cultural exchange!” She smiles at you brightly, which makes you feel even more irritated and confused. Quadrants were what broke you up in the first place, all those years ago. You couldn’t keep her in just one, embarrassingly enough, and it was just an awkward mess for the both of you that you never spoke of it again. Now… she’s purposely disregarding them? 

You know she’s fucking with you. You brush past her, careful not to bump her. Even if you’re an angry asshole, you’d still never hurt Terezi.

“That’s fucking great, Terezi,” You sneer, “I’ll meet him another day, I gotta get to class.”

You know Terezi can just taste the anger radiating off you, but whatever. It’s hopeless, you’ve always been an open book to her. And she’s… she’s just her. Full of sharp angles, poking you till you bleed your secrets everywhere. You force yourself to not think about her.

Thankfully, you’re on your way to English. The class is whatever, you don’t really remember the teacher at all, you’re always too busy staring at a boy instead. 

His name is John, and yes, he is a human, but he at least has properly black hair and protruding teeth, although they are duller than a troll’s. He seemed to get along with trolls and humans alike, he even got along with Vriska of all trolls! That just goes to show how much better he was than Terezi’s moronic “boyfriend”.

You harbor a secret hatred for him. You definitely know, this is your fated kismesis.

“Come on KK, he’ss not THAT handssome,” Sollux taunts you as he sits next to you, “You’re ssenile with one of those sstupid romance novels sshoved up your nook.”

“Shut up, you fuckface,” you hiss, “No one asked you!”

“You’re pathetic,” He sighs, dumping out his textbook from his sylladex, “You can’t even talk to him, that’ss all I’m ssaying.”

You slam your head on your desk. Why are all of your friends such assholes? You glance up and see John sitting a few rows ahead of you. You think of what a beautiful rivalry you could get going, if only you got the chance. You try to ignore the judgemental stares coming from the asswipe next to you.

Before you know it, class is wrapping up and everyone is standing to leave. 

You sigh and lean back in your chair, another class spent fucking around and not listening. As you stand up to leave, Sollux suddenly shoves your textbook off your desk and onto the floor. “Sollux, what the FUCK!?” You snarl. He smirks and points behind you.

“Oops!” A cheery voice says. You whip around to see John picking up your book, “You, uh, dropped this?”

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck! Sollux you… fuck! “Uh, thanks,” You mutter, unable to look at him.

“KK you’re ssuch a butterfingerss!” Sollux laughs.

You turn and straight up growl at him, “Sollux I’m going to smash those fucking 3D glasses so far into your thick skull they’ll be embedded in your thinkpan! On the off-hand chance you actually have a thought in there it’ll be in red and blue you aggravating amalgamation of unctuous filth!” John laughs behind you, and you feel like your face is going to melt off from the embarrassment.

“Oh, my god, dude!” He snickers, “Trolls are so funny! You must be acing this class!”

You whip around to face him. You don’t know if you should be offended or pleased.

“KK hass alwayss been long-winded bitch,” Sollux jeers, “You’re John right? You know Vrisska?”

“Oh, yeah! Are you her friends?” He asks brightly. Vriska is the biggest bitch you’ve ever met, but right now, she’s your saving fucking grace.

“Yeah!” You say, voice more screechy than usual. Lying about being friends with Vriska is harder on you than you’d thought. “We’re… f-friends!” 

He smiles wider, if that was possible, and sticks out his hand like a dork. “Nice to meet you… uh,”

“Karkat!” You yell, shaking his hand, “And- and this abhorrent sudoric pile of slop is Sollux.”

“Hehe, you really do have an impressive vocabulary, is it limited to just insults?” He asks.

“KK, is like, totally ssmart,” Sollux pipes up again, holy shit how much is he going to do for you? “He’s such a know-it-all he probably knowss more than the teacher.”

“Wow, that must be nice!” He says, “I mean I wish I-”

“Could be tutored by him? Well you’re in luck! KK iss actually a great teacher too!” Sollux beams. You’re floored, what is happening? You’re glad Sollux is talking because you sure as shit can’t even breathe.

“Oh, haha, yeah? Uh, maybe I’ll take you up on that. Do you use pesterlog?”

You can’t even think, you don’t even realize you’re giving John your chat handle and making plans to meet up until you see him, still smiling, pushing his way out the door. You slowly turn towards Sollux, feeling like you just had an out of body experience.

“No wonder you’re ssingle,” He snorts, “And you wonder why I’m with Aradia and Feferi? You owe me lunch for a week, doofuss.”

You’re name is Karkat Vantas and you have a study date with John Egbert.


	2. ==> Get schooled about humans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> felt bad the first chap didn't have any davekat lmao, so here

Why? Why was the whole universe continuously plotting against you? You could handle a lot of things today, on your alone time with John. You could handle if there was rain, or even a fucking hurricane. You could handle it if you stepped in a pile of hoofbeast shit, or got splashed on by some gutter sludge. The universe could do a number to you, and you could withstand it. Because what couldn’t you handle if you were going to be with John?

The answer is sitting right across from you at a table in the corner of study hall. A smug shitstain in a hipster jacket, poker face hiding behind a pair of black aviators. Fucking Terezi’s FUCKING boyfriend.

“Karkat, this is Dave!” John says happily, “Dave, Karkat!”

He nods at you, “I’ve heard about this loudmouth, Terezi knows him.”

“Oh,” John giggles, “Small world, huh?” 

You wish you could stab yourself right here and now.

“And,” You try to hold back your venom in front of John, “What is he doing here exactly?”

“Pfft, sorry I cockblocked your date, dude,” Dave kicks back and honest to god lifts his feet onto the table like a cliche douchebag.

“Dave’s failing too,” John supplies, winking.

You roll your eyes, “One look at him and anyone could tell you that he couldn’t keep an intelligent thought in his head.”

“Hey, I’ll have you know, English is something I have a sick nasty mastery of. I just use it for more practical uses and in, like, forms the average guy could understand.”

“He has some silly raps,” John translates again. You scoff, at least you could watch John take the asshole’s inflated ego down a few pegs.

“Look, John,” Dave turns away from you, “You’re supposed to have my back when up against an insulting alien prick.”

John shrugs, “Karkat’s cool!”

You jump at that, and feel yourself settle into a smug grin pointed directly at Dave. Hah! Dave dreams of being cool!

“Terezi doesn’t think so.”

You growl, “Don’t talk about Terezi.”

“Why,” He smirks, dropping his chair and leaning in across the table, “Afraid to know I’m closer to her than you are?”

What a low blow. You jump from your chair and slam your fist on the table, balling the other in his shirt and pulling roughly. Your snarling now, making sure he sees all of your sharp pointed teeth in a threatening manner. 

He doesn’t even flinch, “You really don’t wanna strife with me, dude.”

“Bite me, dickmuncher” Your face is inches away from his now, glaring daggers into the cheap plastic shades.

“Is that insult, or just you begging?”

“Uh, haha…” John pulls at the collar of his shirt nervously, “Jeez you two! Don’t start making out in the middle of study hall!” You let go and jump back at that. What? That wasn’t a calliginous advance!

“What’s wrong, Egbert?” Dave asks, smoothing his shirt and falling back in his chair, “The ball is perfectly in court here, no need to blow your whistle. Just two dudes, hitting the ball back and forth, having a time with the sports. Can’t handle the heat? Maybe get out of the kitchen.”

“What the fuck was that trainwreck of an analogy?” You sneer, “You really do need my help, halfwit.”

“Gee, you two really are similar!” He nods, “I knew you two would hit it off!”

“We are not!” “Fucking kidding me, John?” You yell and he deadpans at the same time. You stubbornly refuse to look at him, scrambling to collect your notes and books in front of you. You were supposed to be impressing John right now, with your superior intelligence and leadership skills. But because of Dave you just… seem to stumble to retort against him.

You all pull out your notes and compare them... you clearly have a lot to work with.

“John, what the fuck is this?” You ask, holding up a paper with what can only be described as a stick figure with an inflated raisin for a head.

“Oh! That’s Nic Cage!” He says excitedly, “I just thought the hero of the story would be more interesting if I replaced him with a better hero.”

“And you chose Nic Cage?” Dave taunts.

“Dave your notes are full of stupid ass drawings too!” You yell at him.

“Those are my OCs, and let’s be very clear here, they have smart asses not stupid asses. I take pride in the way I render their plush rumps and I’ll have you know I take my work very seriously and anything I draw on these papers has a million times more relevance than any stupid regurgitated mess I could throw down from listening to our boring as shit teacher.” Dave points to a particular corner of his notes, “See these? These, ‘stupid ass drawings’? The truth is, Karkat, there are hundreds of sweaty young adults on the internet who’d throw down good money for some Dave Strider original drawings.”

“You just drew a dick there.” You deadpan.

“Even better,” He smirks, “Everyone wants my dick.”

“I think maybe, just maybe, this obsession with fat asses and dicks is less ironic than you think, and just shows your pathetic repressed sexual desires!” You sneer.

“Haha,” John snickers, “Owned!”

“This is not how I envisioned this hangout session to go; here I am getting thoroughly double teamed by my best bro and a midget troll.”

“Dave, this is going to be your last warning before I do serious damage to your thoracic cavity; I don’t feel that way about you so don’t involve me in your sick fucked up cross quadrant sexual fantasies!” 

John leans back and hollers in his chair at that, and you feel a little prideful you could impress him like that. Dave goes on a long tangent again, but you tune him out. Jeez! People who talked non-stop like him got on your nerves.

The three of you manage to get SOME work done, before it’s half an hour to the library closing. You rub at your eyes blearily, frankly you’re ready to go home but you don’t want to call it quits first. John is the one who offers to walk back to the dorms with you, you try shoving your hopefulness back into your stupid bloodpusher before you get any rash thoughts. 

Dave apparently lives in the apartments around the school, and gestures for the both of you to leave without him. He says he needs to get a few books before he leaves, so you and John leave for the exit without him.

 

\---

 

You step outside, and breathe in the chilly air. You rub your arms, trying to adjust to the cold. It’s mid autumn, the phase where you don’t know how thick of a jacket you really need. You have a feeling it won’t be much of a problem though, as your face heats up when John runs up close to you.

He bumps your shoulder, dramatically shivering and yelling out, “Cold!!” 

You shoulder feels warm from the contact, even through your layers of grey clothing. Standing next to John, you can really see he’s taller than you, how irritating. He flashes a toothy grin, before starting off towards the night. You walk in tow, satisfied that your study date with John went relatively well. Maybe that asshole Dave was a blight on your night, but now you’re walking in the same direction towards the dorms.

It’s going good, great even! You won’t fuck this budding relationship up! John has a great push and pull to him, it’s easy to point out his flaws, and then he points out yours. He’s annoyingly well adjusted, which makes you just want to be better too. He seems like the perfect rival.

The two of you make small talk as you walk, he’s so easy to talk to. There are so many stupid things about him you can make fun of, the banter between you two is light and even… fun. You find yourself talking about a lot of things, from how Sollux is a better coder than him to how you BOTH can agree Dave is completely dumb about his opinions on things.

The conversation dies down a bit, and you turn to point out another aggravating thing about Dave, when he clears his throat for attention.

“Um, Karkat?” He asks, seeming somewhat nervous.

“Yeah?”

“Can I tell you something?” He’s blushing and not meeting your eyes, “I know we’ve only known each other for a day, so this might be presumptuous of me, but you’re really nice and I guess there’s no beating around the bush…” Holy shit, is this what you think this is? Your bloodpusher starts pounding and you start to feel light headed. You try to hide your excitement and steel yourself.

“Yeah? John spit it out!”

He stops walking and closes his eyes, his arms tense by his sides. You feel your face on fire thinking, this is it. Somehow, you put off all the right signs, and for once you have someone who finally fucking feels something for you first!

“Daveisnotahomosexual!” He almost yells at you.

…

… What?

Your so in shock, you can’t even respond. John winces at your expression, “Sorry Karkat! I just thought I should tell you! Vriska told me you don’t have much interaction with humans right? You guys went to an all troll school before college?”

You nod dumbly, apparently you can still do that.

“So, I just thought, like, you should know! Humans aren’t all bisexual like trolls are! And I saw the way you flirted with Dave back there so I thought I should tell you before you really start to fall in love-”

“I don’t like Dave!” You blurt out.

“Oh shoot! I mean, before you start to hate him? Sorry, Vriska explained kismesises… kismesi? Oh I don’t know! I still don’t really get it!” He blubbers and stumbles over his words. You watch him struggle for what to say and you think, oh my god he’s being sincere? How far off could this motherfucker be?

“So,” you shakily start, “So… if humans aren’t… then you’re not… you’re not a “homosexual” either?”

“Yes!” He practically lights up at that, “Yes, you get it right, Karkat? For humans; guys date girls! Me and Vriska, Dave and Terezi!”

Your stomach sinks. You feel like fainting. No, scratch that, you feel like falling so hard into the ground it swallows you up and never lets your pitiful self see light ever again. You wish someone would just put you out of your misery and bash you over the head, because dealing with this is NOT something you can do right now.

“I…” You croak out, “I… forgot something… at the library…”

“Karkat…” He takes a step closer to your, eyes full of worry.

“No! I-I mean, I get it!” You feel like you’re trying to swallow lead and talk at the same time, “T… Thank you, John. For telling me. I won’t… try to steal Dave away from Terezi?” The last part sounded like a question, but really what the fuck was John trying to imply? He doesn’t catch it though, and gives a relieved smile.

“Good,” He sighs, “Err… I know it’s hard Karkat but-”

“I’LL SEE YOU IN CLASS LATER!” You yell before straight up sprinting away from him. You are going to abscond far, far away. Maybe college just isn’t for you? You could be a hermit, and never ever have to deal with people ever again. Sounds like a better plan than whatever the fuck you’re doing right now!

Your feet pound the pavement as you run, your chest is on fire and you feel dizzy from lack of oxygen, but you just keep running. You all but collapse on the stairs of the library. Stupid, stupid, stupid! You think there would be someone demented enough out there to possibly reciprocate feelings for you? 

Tears prick in the corner of your eyes. You’ve never filled a quadrant for long, and your sad fantasies partly fueled by your desire to outdo Terezi weigh heavily on you. You were a miserable little mistake in the world, a shitstain on the bottom of the universe’s shoe. You’re really about to go into all-consuming self-pity mode when you hear the library doors open.

You snap your attention up, and see Dave standing there, staring at you.

You don’t even have the energy to growl, so what if he sees you crying. There’s no possible way he could make this worse. You already hate him (PLATONICALLY) so what if he makes fun of you more. You grit your teeth, ready for the insults. You’re an easy target, you know, you should expect this by now.

… What you don’t expect, is for him to sit on the steps next to you and shove his jacket in your sniveling face.

You look at him with confusion, and skepticism. You don’t know what he’s playing, and he still has that poker face as he determinedly looks straight ahead, and not at you.

There’s a moment of silence between you two, before you give in and wipe your snot and tears onto the clothing he gave you.

“He rejected me too.”

You jolt, before slowly looking up at him.

“I don’t know what he told you,” He says rubbing the back of his neck and looking at his feet, “but he’s always said the same shit to me…” He trails off awkwardly.

He looks up, and you only see yourself reflected in his black shades. He pulls the corner of his mouth up into a weak half-smile, as if out of bitterness.

“... No homo, bro.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’d pay money for a dave strider original drawing


	3. ==> Participate in some cultural exchange

It’s still early in the morning when you wake up. Your head hurts, and you’re tired as fuck, but as a life-long insominac you always woke up earlier than you needed to. You didn’t sleep much last night, after the John fiasco and Dave’s weird comment. You barely remember coming back to your dorm, it was just all too much. John was an asshole and Dave was… oddly consoling…? 

You try to push those thoughts out of your mind, it’s why you couldn’t fall asleep in the first place. The ceiling stares back at you and you lay wishing you could fall back asleep and not think about this. While you contemplate what to do, you notice your phone buzz. You reach over to your bed stand and see a shade of teal that makes your headache worse.

gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling  carcinoGeneticist [CG]

GC: K4RK4T! YOU SHOULD B3 HONOR3D, TH3R3 1S 4 GR4ND ORD3R OF SUPR3M3 JUST1C3 HOLD1NG COURT TOD4Y, 4ND TH3R3’S 4 S34T ON THE ST4NDS. 1T’S M4RK3D, R3S3RV3D FOR 4 C3RT41N GRUMPY 4DOR4BL3 TROLL! >:]  
CG: … AM I TO ASSUME I’M SOME SORT OF CRIMINAL IN THIS STUPID SCENARIO?  
GC: YOU 4R3 TH3 D3F3ND4NT! K4RK4T V4NT4S! YOU 4R3 B3ING SUMMON3D TO TH3 W1TN3SS ST4ND!  
CG: I PLEAD NOT GUILTY, AND ASSERT MY RIGHT OF LEAVE-ME-THE-FUCK-ALONE.  
GC: >:[ 1T DO3SN’T WORK L1K3 TH4T YOU DORK!!! 1F 4NYTH1NG, YOUR 4V3RS1ON M4K3S YOU S33M 3V3N MOOOOOOR3 GU1LTY!  
CG: GUILTY OF WHAT?  
GC: GU1LTY OF M33T1NG MY BOYFR13ND 3V3N THOUGH YOU W3R3 B31NG 4 TOT4L ST1NK 4BOUT 1T WH3N 1 BROUGHT 1T UP B3FOR3!! >:[  
CG: OH YEAH  
CG: LOOK, TEREZI, THAT WAS EGBERT’S FAULT.  
GC: HMM! 4 TH1RD P4RTY? TH3 PLOT TH1CK3NS!  
CG: WILL YOU DROP THAT STUPID COURT DRAMA HOOFBEAST SHIT? I KNOW YOU HAVE SOME FETISH OVER THIS WHOLE PROSECUTOR FANTASY, BUT I KNOW YOU PROBABLY SNUFFED OUT EVERYTHING FROM YOUR MINDLESS POMPOUS TOOL OF A “BOYFRIEND”  
GC: >:O  
GC: WOW! STOP B1TCH1N K4RK4T!  
GC: FOR YOUR 1NFORM4T1ON, D4V3 H4S NOT TOLD M3 4NYTH1NG 4BOUT YOU! QU1T3 HON3STLY, 1T 1S BOTH3R1NG M3! MY TWO F4VOR1T3 C4NDY R3D BOYS, C4HOOT1NG 4ND K33P1NG S3CR3TS FROM M3!  
GC: M4YB3 1’LL HOLD 4 COOLK1D P4RTY OF MY OWN!  
GC: 4ND YOU 4ND D4V3 C4N’T COM3.  
GC: B3C4US3 N3ITH3R OF YOU 4RE R34LLY COOLK1DS.  
CG: I’M FUCKING SOBBING HERE, TEREZI.  
GC: YOU KNOW M3, 1’M JUST DROOL1NG FROM TH3 THOUGHT OF WH3T3V3R D3L1C1OUS MOM3NTS YOU TWO M1GHT H1D3.  
CG: WE’RE NOT HIDING ANYTHING! JOHN FUCKBERT JUST INVITED HIM TO OUR STUDY SESSION! TRY KEEPING YOUR DOG ON A TIGHTER LEASH!  
GC: WH4T D1D YOU TWO T4LK 4BOUT?  
CG: OH! WELL SINCE YOU ASKED SO NICELY.  
CG: HE SAID:  
CG: NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS!  
GC: W3LL YOU MUST H4V3 DON3 SOM3TH1NG, B3S1D3S BE YOUR WE1RD CH4RM1NG CUT3 S3LF.  
CG: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU EVEN GETTING AT?  
GC: H3 S41D YOU W3R3, “fucking incredible”  
CG: HE WAS JUST MAKING FUN OF ME, THAT EGOTISTICAL ASSHOLE!!!  
GC: NO, 1 TH1NK H3 L1K3S YOU.  
CG: …  
CG: SORRY MY BRAIN JUST OVERLOADED FROM THE SHEER ABOMINATION OF THE COMBINATION OF THOSE WORDS YOU SENT ME.  
CG: DO YOU KISS YOUR LUSUS WITH THAT MOUTH?  
CG: THAT’S FUCKING DISGUSTING.  
GC: H3H3H3H3! YOU’R3 ST1LL SO OV3RDR4M41C! M3 THINK TH3 L4DY DOTH PROT3ST TOO MUCH!   
GC: YOU SHOULD COM3 BY, W3’R3 H4V1NG 4 D4T3 4T TH3 COFF33 SHOP ON C4MPUS.  
CG: WHY WOULD I DO THAT?  
GC: B3C4US3, K4RK4T, W3’R3 FR13NDS 4ND FR13NDS H4NG OUT SOM3T1M3S 1NST34D OF JUST THROW1NG 1NSULTS 4T TH3M L1K3 4 SPO1L3D WR1GGL3R THROW1NG 4 T4NTRUM!  
CG: AS TEMPTING AS THAT IS, I’M GOING TO HAVE TO GO WITH THE TANTRUM.  
GC: UUUUUUUUGH, K4RK4T! JUST COM3!  
GC: PL34S3?  
GC: Y/Y?  
CG: UGH, YOU WON’T STOP WILL YOU?  
GC: NOP3 >:]  
CG: WILL I EVER BE FREE FROM YOU?  
GC: YOU LOV3 1T.  
GC: 1’M GO1NG TO PULL OUT THE B1G GUNS,  
GC: 4R3 YOU R34DY??  
GC: <:]  
GC: …….. >;]  
GC: B4M!!!!!!!!!!  
CG: AAAAUGHHHHH!!!!  
GC: DO 1 N33D TO W1NK 4T YOU 4G41N?  
CG: NO, FINE, I’LL COME. IF IT’LL MAKE YOU SO FUCKING HAPPY.  
GC: H3H3H3H3H3  
GC: <3

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling  gallowsCalibrator [GC]

You toss your phone to the side and groan. It was unusual for Terezi to be so straightforward, you’d normally expect a long drawn out manipulation to get you to do something she wanted. Maybe she just couldn’t stand the idea of Dave keeping secrets. Speaking of which, he might not be so terrible if he didn’t gossip about your hugely mortifying meltdown in front of him. 

Dave just seemed like an awful grimy puddle. You weren’t sure how deep he went, but you sure as hell weren’t going to jump in. In fact you were going to do everything you could to avoid him. Well, except for right now because Terezi told you to hang out with them. Ugh! 

You roll out of bed, not bothering to fix your hair as you rummage through your closet. A plain black sweater and a pair of baggy grey jeans will properly express your discontent. You grab your things and make your way down to the little coffee shop on campus. 

\--- 

Terezi and Dave are sitting close together, his hand over hers on their table. She’s laughing, but softly, unlike her usual howls. The corner of Dave’s mouth is turned upwards into the tiniest smirk. They’re so engrossed in their little world, they don’t notice when you walk up to them. 

“Good morning you vile smucks,” You toss your bag on the floor near the table, causing them to jump and turn their attention to you, “No one wants to see the two of you caress each other in public, be grateful I’m so fucking tolerable to put up with this so early in the morning.” 

“Dude.” Dave tuts out. Terezi simply snickers and offers you some of her coffee. You take a dramatic swig before slamming on the table. 

“So what am I doing here, Pyrope?” You ask sharply. Yes, good, last names mean serious business. 

“Well I’d introduce you two, but it seems you guys have already been acquainted!” She sits up straight, flashing her sharp teeth in a smile that most people would consider crazy. “And, I wanted to ask for your notes for our last class Karkat, since you are the king of wordy memos and nick picky on details. Please.” She smiles sweetly at her late words. 

You furrow your brow, you do share a class with Terezi but she normally avoids taking notes from you. Your grey lead apparently tastes like shit and you refuse to use the stupid red pen she wants you to write in. This feels like an excuse, she just wants to watch you and Dave. 

“Sure, I’ll make a copy for you.” You grumble and sink back into your chair. 

“Are you like, TZ’s bitch?” Dave asks, quizzically raising a brow above his sunglasses. 

“Are you so much of an asshat that you question a perfectly nice guy helping his blind friend?” You bark back. Terezi is smiling like a madman between the two of you, and you mentally slap yourself. Stop taking the bait! 

“You know she’s like,” He leans over and whispers loudly at you, “fake blind, right?” 

“Dave that’s rude!” She pouts and crosses her arms, “Let Karkat be my knight in shining armor will you? His sweetness is one of his cute points, along with his grumpy front. He can’t help being adorable!” 

“I am NOT adorable…” You grumble, feeling the heat rise up to your cheeks. 

“Oh god, TZ, don’t lead this guy on.” 

You let out a low growl at that. “She’s not leading me on, we’ve been friends for fucking ever ok? And Terezi stop emasculating me in front of your snooty boyfriend! He has a big enough head as it stands!” 

“I’m not doing anything,” She pouts, “I think Dave is also quite cute!” 

“Thanks, babe” Dave coos. 

“See, Karkat? At least Dave can take a compliment!” 

“Yeah, sure,” You scoff, “Dave must be a fucking doormat if he doesn’t get at least a little jealous of you flirting with me.” 

Dave rolls his head, the extra flare to make up for the fact you couldn’t see past his shades to see him roll his eyes at you, and opens his stupid mouth to retort when Terezi cuts him off. 

“He’s probably not upset because he was thinking it himself!” 

Dave flinches and his poker face falters as he sputters, “Oh god, no, TZ just. Fucking no.” You both recoil in disgust, and glare daggers at each other as Terezi throws her head back in laughter. 

Dave shakes his head and stands up, slinging his backpack over one of his shoulders. “I gotta get to class,” He doesn’t even look at the clock, “I’ll see you after, TZ, and hopefully never see you again you ugly pompous jerk.” 

He has the gall to stick out his tongue at you as he leaves through the front door and you flip him off. Once he leaves you feel at least 60% of your anger dissipate. You settle a bit uneasily next to Terezi, who turns her full attention to you. 

“Well that was fun!” She beams. 

“Do you get some sort of sick pleasure out of this?” You ask, already knowing the answer. 

“I’m just glad the two of you get along.” She tilts her head innocently and her smile softens. “I think the two of you are pretty similar, if you got to know each other.” 

“We are NOT!” You screech, earning a few glares of other students. “I’m nothing like that insecure poser!" 

Terezi laughs softly as she finishes off the rest of her lukewarm coffee. “You know Karkat, you really ought to learn to look at yourself and look at others. That’s rich considering you actually can see!” 

You’re about to protest before she stands up as well, she offers her arm out to you. You sigh before getting up to loop your arm in hers. She smiles and whips out her cane, and as you leave the coffee shop you really feel like you are less guiding her to her class and more she is leading you. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bleh :P terezi's quirk is painful to write in LOL


	4. ==> Freak out

"Are you telling me that even YOU don't like The Wedding Planner?"

"Yes, John, big surprise! I have some fucking taste!"

John rolls his eyes and throws his arms in frustration, "I thought you liked every romcom!"

"I like GOOD romantic comedies!" you protest, "Don't use my movie genre taste to justify your weird flush crush on Nic Cage!"

"I don't have a crush on him, I'm simply a dedicated fan of refined taste!" John pouts, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets.

You sigh and shake your head. "Look, we're not getting anywhere with this stupid fucking presentation so why don't we just call it a day?"

John looks sheepishly at the pile of blank papers between you two and flashes his goofy smile. More and more of your study sessions have ended like this, in stupid meaningless arguments that have little to do with anything. It’s getting dark out now and you’d like to get your mind off class.

"Aw, Karkat please don't get mad!" He whines, "Or like, don't drop me as a partner! I seriously need you!"

Oh, this pathetic shit-eating goober. It's a good thing any desire to have him near any of your quadrants has shriveled up into oblivion because he could be downright pitiful. You narrow your eyes at him. 

“What if I buy you a drink?” He winks at you, “I know a good place!”

You rub your eyes blearily. You’re tired, but when do college students turn down a free drink? 

\---

 

John’s idea of a good place is a seedy little club, a good number of blocks away from campus. It’s tucked away, but it’s loud tacky neon sign attracts attention. “Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff’s” seems like a lengthy title for a club.

The crowd inside seems mostly full of trolls, but with humans here and there. You feel a little overwhelmed as red lights saturate your vision and the music fills your ears. John leads you in, and you’re suspicious of how well he navigates before you understand. Vriska is sitting at the bar, knocking back a drink while simultaneously arm wrestling a much bigger olive blood. 

“Oh, gog, John,” You stop in your tracks and lean back. “No, nope, not doing this!”

“What’s wrong?” He shouts over the music.

You just shake your head and slink back, keeping your eyes on Vriska who hasn’t noticed the two of you yet. John gives you a worried look, before you shoo him off. He shrugs and makes his way to the bar. You sigh with relief when John ushers Vriska off to the dance floor and she doesn’t go looking for you. 

It’s not like you have bad blood with Vriska, it’s just… Well Kanaya and Terezi each had some history with her. Even though Earth doesn’t have the same blood caste system as Alternia, everyone knew to stay away from dangerous highbloods.

You stand uncomfortably in the crowd, nervously looking from side to side. You become painfully aware of how much you stick out. Everyone seems to be having a good time, wearing brightly colored loose clothing and dancing happily. You fiddle with the hem of your grey sweater that hides most of your body. You feel nauseous looking at your hands dyed red under the club lights. It feels like no matter how hard you try to lose yourself in the moment, the universe finds some way to reminds you of your mutant blood. 

The air starts to feel just a little too thick, and you feel like everyone’s eyes are on you. Fuck John, you can walk back to the dorms by yourself. He has Vriska to keep an eye on him anyway. Your legs wobble as you make your way back to the door, keeping your eyes down to focus on each step. You reach a stop when you see a pair of familiar scruffed up white converse stopping you in your path.

“Hey dude.”

An involuntary growl escapes your throat. Oh great. You look up to see Dave Strider looking down on you again. He frowns slightly.

“Are you ok? You look like shit.”

The heat rushes to your face, the irritation threatening to explode out of you. It’s a combination of Dave pointing out the obvious, and the fact that most emotion you ever seem to incite out of him is… pity. It’s annoying, you don’t need his stupid pity. Not over John, not over Terezi, and certainly not over your breakdowns.

“I’m fine,” you mumble as you shove past him.

You push past everyone, making a straight line for the exit. The cold outside air hits you and relief floods your system. It’s a nice night, you think absent-mindedly as you stand alone outside the club.

Something wet touches your cheek and you jump forward in shock. You turn to see Dave holding out a water bottle. He nudges it toward you again and you cautiously take it from him.

“You really need to chill out, dude.”

“That’s what I was doing!” You snap back at him. He crosses his arms and steps back, leaning against the bricks. He keeps facing you and fiddle with the water bottle nervously. You take a drink and he finally seems satisfied.

You get a good look at him, under the pink and blue neon lights. He’s wearing a plain shirt, red of course, and some ratty black jeans, not quite as put together as you usually see him. You try reading him, but all you can see is your own scowl reflected in his black shades.

“Why do you show up everywhere?” You blurt out, immediately regretting it. What you mean to ask is, why is he so damn nice to you? He should just mind his own business.

“Hey I just DJ here,” He puts his hands up in mock defeat, “Trust me, I have loads of other people I’d rather be with. In fact I’d rather be with strangers, I’m pretty sure you’re the most angry at me out of everyone in this damn town.”

“You’re the most stupid pea brained idiot within a 100 mile radius! Except maybe for John-fucking-Egbert! Why do you two insist on getting close to deranged girls who will probably murder you in your sleep or trick you into self mutilation!?”

“Why are you so over dramatic, like, jeez we get it. You have issues with me dating Terezi.”

“T-This has nothing to do with Terezi!” You fumble, “I’m just- gog! Fuck you! Just fucking go off for all I care! I’m just trying to prevent my friends from waltzing into a major shitstorm, but I guess that’s just what everyone wants to do! Everyone’s an insubordinate grub-brained fool who thinks with their bulge! Go ahead and work at some troll club, you’ll be crying when you inevitably piss off some highblood with your insufferable smartalec attitude!”

You promptly turn on your heel and start stomping away. The irritation is practically steaming off the top of your head, and it only gets worse when you hear footsteps behind you.

“... Hey, look, I won’t mention TZ anymore, ok? I won’t even bother you anymore, just don’t tell her you saw me here.”

Now that makes you stop in your tracks. “... Why?”

“Because you loudmouth piece of shit, I don’t need her worrying over my ass,” He gets close to you and uses his height to look down on you threateningly. “I know you think I’m stupid but this pays good money and leaves the day open for class.”

You try to stay confident under his stare, but it’s kind of unnerving when you don’t even know what he’s looking at. “‘Good money’? For what?? What could you possibly so desperately need money for so to slink around scrounging up cash like some sort of slinkbeast in secrecy? To pay the expenses of being a mind-numbingly stupid douche??”

“What? Dude, no, I pay rent.”

“... Oh.” Well... that really took the wind out of your rant sails. 

“Did you seriously not think about basic living expenses?”

“Well excuse me! I was under the impression humans relied on their lusus for that kind of shit!”

“I don’t have a lusus.”

“I mean ‘parents’, you fuck!”

“Yeah, I got that, I don’t have those either.”

Your mouth stupidly hangs open at that. Shit, way to go Karkat! Yell at the orphan!

“Fuck… Uh… Yeah, I mean, I won’t tell Terezi…” You grit your teeth and clench your fists. You really don’t want to do this, but you have to save yourself from being a irredeemable asshole. “S… ssssssssorry…”

Dave brings a hand up to his mouth and suppresses a laugh. “What? What the fuck was that?”

“I said! Sorry! You absolutely frustrating piece of… of… so-and-so!” You hiss, trying to be civil, “I’m not so completely wrapped up in rage that I can’t say when I take it too far!”

“Oh, it’s cool. I was intentionally pissing you off too anyway.”

“I- Wait, what!?” 

“Yeah, it’s kind of funny to see you lose your shit so often,” He leans down close to you, like he’s studying you, “Like I’ve never seen anyone in such a perpetual state of emotional turmoil, it’s like someone shit in your cereal every damn day.”

“I’ve never seen anyone express so LITTLE emotions!” You shout, stepping forward, “Hey! You think you’re cool wearing sunglasses at night!? You look like a goddamn psychopath who watched The Matrix too many times!”

He brings a hand up to adjust his shades, “... You don’t know anything about me, Vantas.”

You hesitate, you suppose it’s true. You didn’t know he didn’t have parents a few minutes ago. John had a “normal” upbringing with a father and a house in the suburbs, so you assumed his best friend would too. His interest in trolls came from curiosity, and while irritating, he was mostly harmless. But what about Dave? The way he seemed unnerved to be surrounded by trolls… he was a really weird guy.

“Hey guys! Whoa, hey, am I interrupting anything?”

You whip your head around to see John staring at you and Dave with a suspicious look on his face. You belatedly realize you’re only inches away from being pressed up against Dave, and you shove him backwards in shock.

“John did you lose a troll?” Dave waves his hand towards you, “He was losing it by himself.”

“I was not! I was being perfectly fucking fine by myself!!!”

“I was actually looking for you Dave! Your playlist ran out a while ago, and everyone’s sort of awkwardly standing around with no music.”

“Shit!” Dave runs past John and bursts back into the club. You scoff, what an idiot.

“Soooooooo,” John drawls out. 

“What.”

“You won’t go to a club with me-”

“John, don’t-”

“-But you’ll hang out alone with Dave?”

“Uuuurghhh! I wasn’t hanging out with him! He followed ME!” You throw your arms up in frustration. 

“Yeah he’s kind of clingy like that.” John smiles. You pull at your hair, hopefully Dave didn’t imprint onto you like some sort of baby cluckbeast. “It’s not so bad is it? Who doesn’t want more friends?”

You cup your hands around your mouth and take a deep breath, “I DON’T WANT TO FUCKING BE FRIENDS WITH DAVE STRIDER!!!!”

John just covers his ears and laughs as you storm off back to your dorm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i promise i'll write longer chapters later... when karkat is less of a grump 6(^.^"""


End file.
